Once I met with Youngsil, I knew it was going to be fun. Difficult -- but fun. She is always so full of energy, it's almost impossible for me to keep up! She is so cheerful, it’s just infectious. She and her family moved here from Korea, and her brother is also part of the program. I know she is a really smart girl, and that makes it difficult, because she knows that she can communicate her thoughts, but doesn't quite know the proper way of saying them in English. It also makes it difficult to pick out books, as well. She is somewhat of a perfectionist, and her inability to comprehend the books that she wants to read is definitely a sore point with her. We try to pick out books that are at her reading level, but I get the feeling that she thinks they are either boring or stupid. When she does get interested in a book, though, she'll often read a few passages, until she stumbles a bit, then shoves the reins into my hands. Of course, we are supposed to be reading to our Little Buddies, but I also wish that if she just tried a little more, she would feel more accomplished, rather than dejected that she cannot read at the level that she understands.
Recently, though, as I've mentioned the fact that we will be working on a book together, she closed up, or became so uber cheerful that we almost ran out of time to talk about it -- she's very good at changing the subject or avoiding things that way. I think it's because she is afraid of reading out loud to people. She mentioned that at school, her entire grade is performing and singing something for an audience, and she is really scared -- except for when they sing a Korean song. I think she's afraid of making mistakes and faltering. She never says so, though, only that she doesn't like it, or that it won't be fun. I really want to be able to boost her confidence, but I am also afraid of pushing too hard and making her dislike reading and writing.
Being a part of Reading Buddies has definitely been changing how I look at learning language, especially for a second language learner. My mother was born and raised in Japan, and moved here 20 years ago. I've always known that it's difficult to uproot and learn not only a new language, but also an entirely different culture, but never really understood, you know? My brain could understand why it would be difficult, but not really grasping the entirety of the difficulty. With Youngsil, it's so apparent. Her brother is farther along with his English (maybe because he is older?) and I know she speaks Korean at home and often with her friends, but I can see her frustration when she cannot get the word or phrasing correctly in English. We picked out one book, Happy Hanukkah, and she didn't understand the concepts, rather than the words. We talked about Christmas, but I could tell it wasn't really talked about in her home. What must it be like to be her -- just starting to talk, and then not being able to communicate at all? Or when the words make sense as words, but not as sentences and thoughts? So much of what we say relies on understanding meaning beyond the words -- history, shared knowledge, etc. It just boggles my mind, especially since it happens quite often when young families travel. I know that I want her to fall in love with reading, but I also want her to be confident in herself enough that reading out loud isn't an ordeal.
